Deep Breath

When I started this blog, I tried to envision the kind of blogger I’d be.

I knew that the blog would primarily be a place for me to just write. Write about my kids, my life, my feelings. Nothing special or significant to anyone but me.

I read other blogs and sometimes I just can’t help but to wish I could write like them! Humorous blogs are great! I laugh along with every other reader when I read about the chaos and frustration of other families. I get it, I relate. I just can’t write like that.

The problem I continuously have with this and other blogs I've written is this attempt to write what I think other people want to read. That is completely opposite of my original purpose for the blog. Who wants to read a blog about a woman with a boatload of crazy children who just sings their praises constantly and wonders if she’ll ever be able to reach any of her dreams? That’s not entertaining.

Though it is the truth.

So I’m succumbing to myself and the writer within me.

Sometimes I may have funny things to say. I live with a bunch of energetic kids, something funny is almost always happening!

Sometimes I’ll talk about how overwhelmed I am with my life. Because it’s true. And I am.

But for the most part, I will be writing from a positive place.

I can’t help it, to be honest. That’s just who I am. I've always been a “glass half full” kinda lady. For better or for worse, no matter what is happening in my life. Some people seem to relate to that and encourage that behavior in me. Most of the time, I’m met with animosity, claims that I’m unrealistic and out of touch. And maybe that’s all true. But I've been this way my entire life. It’s just the person that I am.

I WANT to be happy. I WANT to be positive. I don’t want to wake up feeling miserable every single day of my life. Sometimes I do wake up and am angry at the world, but I try very hard to move past that. I just don’t want to live that kind of life. I truly believe that happiness comes from within, and that we are each capable of choosing how we feel about a particular situation.

I often here that I’m “fake” because I’m “too nice” or “too positive” and that this is all just an act. Nothing could be further from the truth.

I am just being me. No apologies.

As I move forward with this blog, with my life, I feel refocused and ready to be me. Authentic. Real. Genuine. Good, bad, and everything in between.

I will continue to dream big. I will continue to envision how I will make a difference in the world. I will continue to parent in my ever-evolving style. I will continue to love deeply and passionately and unconditionally in every facet of my life. Will that all make for entertaining writing? Eh, not always. But it’s real, and that’s important.

If only I had more hours in the day

There comes a time in life when you need to just move on.

This has been true in many aspects of my life lately. Relationships. Poetry writing. All of it.

I had great expectations of myself. Sure! I can write a poem a day! And take care of my three kids! And finish final projects, papers, and exams for six classes! And start a business! And breathe!

So yeah, something had to go. Bye, poems. I felt a bit of failure this morning thinking about it, and then went on to complete a really amazing project for a business class and I feel much more accomplished with myself.

There's always next year, right?!

So much to say. So much to share. My heart has been overflowing lately. My kids are just incredible. I watched my girls play together yesterday and it was almost too much to handle. I watched my two youngest cuddle on the rocking chair today, just the two of them, and I almost cried. I am SO happy! How did I get this blessed? It's such an incredible feeling.

This next week is going to be rough. Finals, finals, finals.

Pray for me.

Love On

Well. I made it 6 straight days.

Here I am, 7 days later, no new poems.

And let's be honest, at least half of those 6 were last minute.

So to catch up to 30, you lucky ducks will get two a day.

Well, maybe. That seems like quite a bit of effort.

I also noticed I get less views for the poems than I do for a post about how I'm exhausted and my house is a mess.

They must be that bad.

Or you all just relate better to the exhausted, messy house mama.

I hear that.

Respect!

Posts will come later tonight. We are off to celebrate my baby brother's birthday today - the big 21! This lunch will indeed involve alcohol, so that's fun.

For him, I mean. This mama is still breastfeeding, so I'll take in a nice, refreshing water. Party!

This weekend has been amazing. We went to one of my best friend's weddings last night, and it was beautiful and we had a blast. The hubs and I got to go out on our own, talk with friends, dance, and just enjoy each other. All three munchkins stayed with my mom, grandma, and brother and had a fabulous time.

It's wonderful when it all works out like that!

So we've been celebrating love this weekend. And it's good. Love is so good.

Love on, friends. Love. On.

And We Go

Running and running.

My attempts at slowing and seeing and feeling are lost in the chaos.

I pull moments together, here and there.

A light saber fight in the playroom in the five minutes we had left before heading out for the day.

A small, important conversation after a little girl has been in bed for an hour but apparently had too much on her mind to sleep.

Walking around the living room in the dark, carrying the baby in our Ergo, hoping to lull her to sleep.

Little moments, slipped in between the light and the dark, the quiet and the noise. Each moment simple and important.

My mind races as I think through my lists of things that must be accomplished. Deadlines. Assignments. Projects. Things. More things. Too many things.

It's a lot, sometimes, to juggle life.

We wear so many hats.

I try and be everything to everyone at all times.

I feel like I can, that nothing is impossible, that I can do all and be all and everything will just work itself out.

Kind of unrealistic.

I'm not perfect.

But I do and I go, and we live and we make it work.

When the days blend together during the busy times, I take comfort in those stolen moments with my little ones.

This season of our lives will not last forever. In many ways. They will grow. I will grow. Life will change.

We won't be this busy forever.

We will breathe again, and the quiet, stolen moments will gather together into bigger, louder moments, and we will fall into that season as we did this one.

Imperfectly. Purposefully.

Time Flies

Today was my "I'm in labor!" day for Gray. I don't feel like it is possible for her to have already been here for an entire year! It seems like she was just born yesterday. At the same time, I feel like she's been a part of our family forever!

I don't have an "I'm in labor!" day for Bam every year, which always makes me smile. It's like our own special day, the last day where he was safe inside of me, and the day before my life changed in so many ways. Our little guy was THIS.CLOSE. to being a Leap Day baby! So my labor day only comes once every four years. Silly, I know, but it makes me smile.

My little guy turned five a few days a go, and my baby turns one tomorrow.

I'm just in awe at how fast time is flying by!

There have been a few days lately that have been long and hard, and I count the hours to bedtime (for them and for me). Though the days sometimes feel long, life is going by so fast! Tee was just Gray's age, I blinked, and now she's going to parties and losing teeth and having her own opinions.

I know every mom says this, but it is so true - they grow up SO fast!

I've been trying to be more conscious of our moments together. I'm trying to simplify our schedules so we have more time to be together and to play, and less time driving and doing things that aren't as important. I'm working hard to say "yes" to them more often. It's hard after a long day of school and work and homework and teething to step outside my own wants and needs, and to realize that Bam is only going to ask me to play Star Wars with him for so long. One day he won't ask me and I will have missed all of this. I'll miss the kiss on the cheek of gratitude from him and the whispered "Thank you, mama" that I love so much.

He still calls me "mama" and it's the sweetest sound in the world.

It's not easy, this motherhood thing, and I sometimes wish that we had a couple practice years or chances for do-overs. Each age and stage is so different and so exciting, and it's such a hard balance between doing the right thing and enjoying each moment and not messing them up.

Tonight I will kiss my little baby girl to sleep and tomorrow she will wake up as a one year old.

Amazing.

Quiet

I've been quiet.

It's not a bad quiet, at least, it's more of a productive quiet.

I've made it through almost six weeks of yet another college semester. Still chugging along. It's starting to pick up pace, and I'm slowly becoming not quite as far ahead as I had thought. That's slightly terrifying. Six classes on top of everything else is sometimes overwhelming, but I will not falter. This is a goal that I will meet.

I've taken some steps to work on some health things that have been going on. One kid needs this, another needs this, and me...oh gosh, it's easy to put ourselves on the back burner, isn't it? I put off going to the doctor, I reason away each symptom swiftly and easily, not seeing the big picture of it all. It's easy to do. We have a plan of action for everyone in the house...even me.

On a more exciting front, and the real reason for my lack of exuberance around here lately, is that I've been in full business mode! That's right, this mama has taken the leap! It feels incredible! Exhilarating and terrifying all rolled into one.

Balance is going to be needed. Organization is necessary. But it all will come together.

We enjoyed a nice week off school for my littles. Mid-winter break is sometimes a really wonderful thing! We needed the time to decompress, to be together, to just BE. Sometimes we need that to get a fresh view of things.

So tomorrow comes another Monday. Back to school for everyone. A long lists of errands to tackle. Two birthdays in two weeks. Homework. Girl Scouts. PTA. Book fair. And the official launch of my company.

Back to reality we go. Full steam ahead!

Stepping Out

A lot has happened since my last post.

For the most part, I've shook the gloominess out of my system. Which is good.

I'm still struggling with some things. Balancing between right and wrong, what feels good and what hurts. It's a fine line sometimes.

I can't change people and I can't make things better, so it leaves me conflicted and frustrated.

And hurt. But that's my own emotion, I choose to feel that way. I don't have to let their actions hurt me. I choose to do so. Something to work on.

I am a firm believer in removing toxic people from your life. I can't handle that kind of negativity all the time. For whatever reason, negativity sucks all the energy out of the room, it dominates and it destroys, and it's hard to back away once you let it in. 

So I struggle. Because I can't just remove everyone that I should. It's not that easy.

For now, though, I need to move past that, allow that situation to do its thing, to let it grow or move or change as it will. I cannot control it, so I will not focus my energy on it.

What I will focus my energy on is the life in front of me. So much is happening in the near future, and it's all good things!

Bam will turn 5 in a few short weeks.

Gray will turn 1 just a week or so later.

And my business. It's time! Very shortly, we will be launching.

I'm stepping outside my comfort zone and making magic happen. This is huge for me. I like to stay where I'm comfortable, where I know what is expected of me and where I know I can meet all of those expectations, where there is little failure. But with no risk, there is no chance for greatness. So I'm stepping out, cautiously, nervously, scared...but I'm going.

I'm doing it!

I have big plans for this space, too. It will become more than just a place for my random thoughts. For now, though, as I deal with these personal hurdles, it will be a little of everything. Stay tuned.

Walkity Walk Walk

I've been working on a blog post for the last week or so. It's important and it has taken me much longer to write than I anticipated.

Something about putting it all out there, putting your heart in your writing, and letting others read it...it's hard.

Even more than that, it's hard for me to put into words exactly what I'm feeling. Which is funny to me. I have no trouble expressing myself, typically. But this? This deep stuff? Yeah, that's hard.

So I'm letting it sit there, in draft form, taking up space in my heart and in my head for a little while longer. It'll come, eventually.

In the meantime, I am soaking in the moments in my little home.

Gray walked across the room for the first time yesterday!

We were lucky enough to capture it on video and I've rewatched it at least a million times. Her smiling face, the sweet giggle, how excited she was when she made it to me. Wow, just amazing stuff!

I think back to my first two babies and their first steps. Man, time has just flown by. And it's really not slowing down at all! As we cross this next threshold, she will be walking and running further and further away from her babyness, and as exciting and awesome as it is to watch, there is a teensy bit of longing for her to just stay small and cuddly for a little bit longer.

But that's not how life works, does it? I distinctly remember being 14 and just exasperated that life was going by so slowly and when the heck would I be able to get started with really living? And here I am now, half a life away from that moment, and I just need it to slow down a bit so I can catch up.

Enjoy today, friends. Every moment of it. I most definitely will.

The Hard

Parenting is hard.

Don't get me wrong, I never expected it to be easy. And most of the time, these little people are pretty fabulous.

Then there are other times. And man. It is hard.

Parenting three kids is hard.

Parenting three kids in three different ways that meet their individual needs is hard.

Parenting three kids in three different ways that meet their individual needs while attempting to satisfy my own needs is hard.

Throw in a husband, a house, and a dog.

Oh, and did I mention my next semester of college starts tomorrow?

*sigh*

It's been one of those very hard weeks around here.

It's almost like I put out there into the universe that this is the year of positivity, and the universe was all like, "Oh yeah? Let's see about that" and threw at me all it could muster.

I feel like I'm drowning. Emotionally and mentally. One obstacle after another. On top of parenting those three kids in those three different ways...

I needed to escape yesterday, so after dinner, we all snuck to the library and took part in a family play date complete with building snowmen out of marshmallows and M&M's and a raucous cotton ball snowball fight.

The smiles on their faces? Priceless.

So despite all the hard, there we were, snowballing it up, laughing, and enjoying each other.

And I guess that's the point. The hard is going to keep on calming. It never truly ends, nothing is ever completely easy all the time. We just have to buckle down and get through.

And we will. Because we always do.

A Test? Already?

So just a mere seven days into the new year and my "I'm all positive" motto is being put to the test.

Angsty, bitter people that are hard to handle.

Hot water heaters that decide to leak.

Decisions that are hard to make.

So with a deep breath, I take a step back.

Can I change the angsty, bitter people that are hard to handle?

Not a chance.

I've tried. Oh, how I've tried. I've tried to step up and talk to them, I've tried talking to others near them in order to keep the peace, and it's just not working. I'm at a loss. I need to let this be and move on.

And what in the world can I do about a hot water heater that decides to leak?

Not a darn thing.

It does what it wants. I will just pray that my handy husband can figure out how to handle it.

And ummm pray that he can fix it...on the cheap!

And those decisions that are hard to make?

Yeah, well, I've never been good at those.

Easy, hard, no difference.

So I will just pray for guidance. I will think about it. Weigh the pros and cons.

And inevitably we will go with our guts, because that's what we always do.

Some way, some how, it always works out.

No sense letting my mind wander and start to feel sorry for myself.

What can that do?

Not a darn thing.

I'd love to drown my sorrows in a big bowl of cookies and cream ice cream, though.

Yum.

But since the ice cream fairy doesn't work on Monday mornings, I'll have to settle for an egg sandwich and a glass of water.

Because water hits the spot like ice cream does. Yup.

See? That's positivity, people!

Positive, positive, positive.

Maybe if I keep saying the word it will click...

Positive...

Positive...

Positive...

Calm

Between the all-night-long nursing sessions and the sick kids and the dirty diapers and the vacuuming and the laundry and the homework and the this and the that...

...there's something.

Just a moment of calmness, of peace, of sitting still and being and existing in this place.

"This place" is so much right now.

The house we live in. The house we want to live in. The kids in their own worlds, different ages and stages and how they connect and how they conflict. The husband, how we are, how we aren't. The goals. The dreams.

All of it.

It's all in this place, this tricky maze of confusion and excitement, possibility and fear. All bottled up with the day-to-day and the week-to-week.

How do you possibly begin to make sense of it all? How can you peel back the layers and find that moment of calmness where it all makes sense?

I feel it, with every sense of my being, I feel it. Within grasp, right in front of me, I just have to get up and get it.

That simple.

I can have it, if I want it.

Oh, how I want it.

I don't even need to keep it. Just hold on to it for a little while. Just a little moment of clarity and being able to breathe easy would be all I would need, then I can pass that moment on to another mama.

Because I can't be alone in all of this. I know I'm not. I know there are a host of other Super Mama's out there doing and being and feeling and wanting it all.

To embrace that sisterhood is my next step.

Ahh Fall

Ah ha!

What is that I feel outside?

Is it...no...it couldn't be...

It's not hot! Is it actually...*gasp*...kind of chilly?

YES!

It sure is! Helloooo, fall!

Man, we live in the north for a reason. I don't like heat!

We lived in Texas for a year a few years back, and the heat was just insane. 40+ days of 100+ degree weather? No, thanks.

But here, in the north, in the midwest, we have this wonderful little season called fall.

Or autumn.

Or, honestly, heaven!

It's chilly. The air is crisp. The leaves are changing colors. The sky is bright and blue.

Yes, indeed, this is my favorite time of year!

Cider mills and hayrides. Raking leaves and jumping in the piles. Jeans and hoodies.

LOVE.

For two mornings in a row, I have been tempted to turn on my heat to warm up the house!

Instead, the kids and I pile on to the couch, under some blankets, and cuddle up until we get warm enough to start our day.

Ah yes, fall is here. The season of possibilities.

She

She knew that her life was meant for something. Something great.

Isn't that how every child should grow up? Knowing he or she is meant for something. That their existence does indeed have purpose.

For that, I suppose, she was lucky.

However, unlucky in her indecisiveness.

So she exists. Wondering how to accomplish all that her heart feels it needs to do.

There's just so much. No way to sort it out. No place to start.

And while she waits and wonders, the world carries on.

Senseless deaths. Crime. Murder. Poverty. Homelessness. Pain. Sadness.

And her heart aches. For all of it.

Something has to change.

She has to change.

Speeding

Sometimes I think I would love to be an octopus.

Yeah, that sounds odd. But think of all the things I could do with 8 arms!

Start dinner. Nurse the baby. Read to the bigger kids. Brush my hair.

Wow.

This mama is running on empty.

It's the end of summer. I go back to school in two days. Tee goes back in a week. Bam starts about two weeks later. It's bittersweet. I'm excited for them to start, new opportunities, getting out of the house and playing with friends, all good things.

But I do miss them.

I will definitely be that mom who sneaks into their rooms at night, in their own houses, to kiss them goodnight. You know that book, right?

I don't want to let go. Ever. But man, I just want to brush my hair in peace. Or not even in peace, just want to brush it. I HAVE NO TIME.

Or to shower. Wow. That sounds exciting.

I bet I'd feel better if I pulled on some real clothes rather than these pajamas. Though comfy, they are not mood uplifters in any way.

I want to do so much right now. I have projects in all corners of my head. I just can't break it down. It won't stop and separate and organize and prioritize.

This is a common theme for me. I always have so much to do, I can't figure out how or when, so it never gets done. I break down, I cry it out, and I sit. Waiting. For what? I don't know. A sign. Some help. A miracle.

Anything.

Even sitting here now, my mind is racing.

RACING.

Ridiculously fast. I'm already on tasks I need to do later, bypassing a good ten other things that need to be done now.

Slow down. I'm missing everything.

Every single little beautiful moment is flying by. My kids are planning for snow days already. I need to teach them to wait, be patient, enjoy the now. I can't teach what I can't do.

That's two "can't"s in one sentence. When I was coaching, I'd make my athletes do push-ups every time they said that word. There is no such thing as "can't", I'd say. Maybe "I still need to learn", but not "can't" ...

I'd make myself do push-ups, but umm, yeah. That requires effort. Boo.

So, I need a remedy. Some magic potion of something to get my butt moving. To motivate me. To inspire me. To MAKE me.

Do you ever feel this way? What do you do to beat it?

Letting Go

Yesterday was profound for me. I had held on to this lingering hope that I could keep part of my old life for just a little longer. A piece that wasn't that important, but I loved it just the same. As much as I know it was time to let go, and I'm ready for it, it still stung a little. Bittersweet, I guess. I didn't think it would hit me that hard.

But that's life. Moving on.

There's more exciting things out there for me. For my family. That mean more.

Taking a deep breath, and letting go.

So what's next? I feel like with the end of this chapter, a new one is ready to begin. So many thoughts and ideas just pouring out of me. It's a jumble, I'm a mess. I need perspective.

Just in time for our annual vacation. Stay-cation, really. It would be lovely to be that family with the three young kids that travels and goes on real vacations, but that's just not us. I do enjoy our stay-cation, though. 

Family, food, fun, fireworks. Lots of swimming. Lots of laughter. Just what I need to snap me out of this funk.

*Sigh* It feels good already.

A day in the life

Summer is in full swing and my time management has flown out the window.

We come and go as we please, spending hours in our pjs and staying up late.

I feel stretched and strained and carefree all at the same time.

We are getting in a groove. Slow but sure.

I question my abilities, how to spread myself and fulfill all their needs.

One night this week Bam woke up in the middle of the night sick. I brought him to my room, throw up bucket in hand. He wants me to hold him as he drifts off to sleep. Gray wakes up and needs to be nursed. Who gets to be first? How do I decide?

I don't.

All three of us pile into my bed, I cuddle Bam in one arm, and scoop Gray up to nurse in the other. I have to do some funky bending to make it work. I'm exhausted. And uncomfortable. But these babies are happy and content. I relax and let myself doze for a moment, smiling and full of so much love.

I'm not always super mom. But some nights, I'm pretty darn close.

Here We Are

Oh, life.

Tee is out of school now. Mornings are nice and slow again. Just the way I like it.

We've just been here, being and existing and it's nice.

I had a ridiculous headache that lasted just under three days. I'm finally feeling normal again. We might even venture out of the house this afternoon. To the park or just to the yard, whatever works.

My headache may have subsided, but my head still feels like it is about to explode. With ideas. With excitement. With SO. MUCH. STUFF.

I am trying to let things be and enjoy each moment and this summer, but I'm antsy and excited for the future. It's a fine line.

I've got an end goal. Now it's just working on the plan to get there.

I washed my kitchen counters this morning. Something I do often. But today? The counter was shining, and it keeps catching my eye. Such promise. Clean, shiny counters. Clean, shiny life.

Lunch time has rolled around. Dinner is already in the crockpot so the afternoon is all ours. Gray is waking from her nap. Is it Wednesday? Or Thursday? Just a few days into summer break and the days are already melting together.

The calm is here. And I welcome it.

Linking up (a tad late) with Just Write

Savory Summer

Summer in our house officially starts tomorrow afternoon. My little girl is just a few hours away from moving on to second grade!

In the fall, I'll have two little ones heading off to school.

I sound like a broken record lately. I keep repeating how unbelievable it is that they've grown so quickly.

But seriously...where has the time gone?

They have grown up so much and developed their own personalities, mannerisms, likes and dislikes. They are their own person these days. I feel like they should still be my little babies, relying on me for every aspect of their lives. Tee can pretty much take care of herself. She's even changed a diaper or two lately!

I'm just the one who makes sure their clothes are clean and there is food on the table. Though, frankly, they don't exactly need me for that, either. Bam loves doing laundry, and tries to shove me out of the way so he can do it by himself. And Tee would make dinner every night if I let her.

Again, what happened? Where are my babies? I'm trying to savor every second of Gray's babyness. She is three months old now. (WHAT?!?)

So yeah...even my baby is growing too fast!

This summer is going to be busy. Birthday parties and graduation parties. Trips to the library and to the park. Book reading activities and a folder of homework to keep the oldest busy (though she already started, and would have finished if we had let her!). Family barbecues and weddings. Fourth of July carnival and fireworks up north. Maybe even a night out for our wedding anniversary (now I'm getting carried away...). Bam starts a summer program next week to evaluate his needs for the upcoming school year. Playdates and pool parties and movie nights galore.

Savoring each moment is my motto for the summer. Each memory. Each of my babies as they grow more and more every single day.

Here's to a savory summer for everyone!

10 Years

I graduated from high school 10 years a go today.

And now you all know how old I am. Or how young I am, however you want to spin it.

I knew this was the year. There has been talks of the reunion in November. I didn't think it was really a big deal.

Then today. Today marks the official day. There is so much of high school I wish I'd done differently. I was a terrible friend. That's something I still work on today. I was so glad to graduate and get away from my senior year.

But then what? In 10 years, I don't see what's changed. I'm still sick to my stomach, rehashing senior year over and over in my mind. What about college? 10 years later...still taking classes. Nothing to show for it.

I just envisioned so much more in my life, for my life, for my family. This wasn't what was supposed to happen.

I just can't let go.

I'd go back in a heartbeat, and do it all over again. But better. I would make so many different choices.

I know I need to let go. That's been a huge crutch in my life. I just hold on to everything. I hold on to the dreams dashed. I hold on to the friendships ruined. I hold on to the pain. I want to go back and fix it all rather than accept and move on and foster the new relationships in my life. Or make new ones. I can't fix it all.

I sound so ridiculous. I should not feel so sad and defeated.

I feel like I have nothing to show for it.

I'm trying to look outside of me, and see the good. Because it is there. I married a wonderful man who loves me and supports my craziness. I have three fabulous, beautiful children. I have trouble seeing much more than that, but that's still a pretty big thing.

It needs to be enough. It is enough. It's more than enough.

So baggage be gone. Take the motivation and make the next 10 mean even more.

Brushing that off my shoulder as we speak. Insert relief here.

Just Write - I'm a Rambler

I had a list of things I wanted to write about this week.

I just can't.

It's hot and I get cranky when it gets hot.

It's only mid-80s, so I'm not feeling positive that I'll be a happy camper all summer long.

I almost kind of wore a dress this week, for the first time since my wedding.

Part of that is because I don't like how I look in dresses. The other part is that I'm just not that girly.

I'm currently wearing a tank top and softball shorts.

I am still in high school, apparently.

But I wore that dress. I did put leggings on underneath. I just had a baby, for crying out loud.

And I wore a sweater over it.

So I guess it was more like just wearing a big shirt?

Either way, I felt good. I'll take it.

The baby is amazing, since we're on the subject. She's 10 weeks old. Would rather sit up than lay down. Babbles away all day long. I'm so, so in love with her!

She also takes naps and sleeps pretty well at night. Not all the way through the night or anything, but nice stretches, and she goes right back to sleep within just a few minutes of nursing.

She's wonderful.

I have a brief moment of time right now to do whatever I want. I should do dishes or laundry or sneak in a shower or nap, but I'm so content on just sitting still and breathing.

It feels so good.

My motivation to get things done is slowly slinking back in.

Maybe tomorrow will be the day.

Linking up with Just Write