Monday, August 27, 2012

Speeding

Sometimes I think I would love to be an octopus.

Yeah, that sounds odd. But think of all the things I could do with 8 arms!

Start dinner. Nurse the baby. Read to the bigger kids. Brush my hair.

Wow.

This mama is running on empty.

It's the end of summer. I go back to school in two days. Tee goes back in a week. Bam starts about two weeks later. It's bittersweet. I'm excited for them to start, new opportunities, getting out of the house and playing with friends, all good things.

But I do miss them.

I will definitely be that mom who sneaks into their rooms at night, in their own houses, to kiss them goodnight. You know that book, right?

I don't want to let go. Ever. But man, I just want to brush my hair in peace. Or not even in peace, just want to brush it. I HAVE NO TIME.

Or to shower. Wow. That sounds exciting.

I bet I'd feel better if I pulled on some real clothes rather than these pajamas. Though comfy, they are not mood uplifters in any way.

I want to do so much right now. I have projects in all corners of my head. I just can't break it down. It won't stop and separate and organize and prioritize.

This is a common theme for me. I always have so much to do, I can't figure out how or when, so it never gets done. I break down, I cry it out, and I sit. Waiting. For what? I don't know. A sign. Some help. A miracle.

Anything.

Even sitting here now, my mind is racing.

RACING.

Ridiculously fast. I'm already on tasks I need to do later, bypassing a good ten other things that need to be done now.

Slow down. I'm missing everything.

Every single little beautiful moment is flying by. My kids are planning for snow days already. I need to teach them to wait, be patient, enjoy the now. I can't teach what I can't do.

That's two "can't"s in one sentence. When I was coaching, I'd make my athletes do push-ups every time they said that word. There is no such thing as "can't", I'd say. Maybe "I still need to learn", but not "can't" ...

I'd make myself do push-ups, but umm, yeah. That requires effort. Boo.

So, I need a remedy. Some magic potion of something to get my butt moving. To motivate me. To inspire me. To MAKE me.

Do you ever feel this way? What do you do to beat it?

1 comment:

  1. Sweet niblets Jenny, my head is racing now just reading your post. It even reads like you're thinking the words a million times per minute!!! Start by making a daily list, then weekly, then monthly and just break down each thing you want to do. The number 1 thing I do before everyone is up in the morning: shower and get dressed. Seriously, it makes me so much more productive.

    Jen

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