For the most part, I've shook the gloominess out of my system. Which is good.
I'm still struggling with some things. Balancing between right and wrong, what feels good and what hurts. It's a fine line sometimes.
I can't change people and I can't make things better, so it leaves me conflicted and frustrated.
And hurt. But that's my own emotion, I choose to feel that way. I don't have to let their actions hurt me. I choose to do so. Something to work on.
I am a firm believer in removing toxic people from your life. I can't handle that kind of negativity all the time. For whatever reason, negativity sucks all the energy out of the room, it dominates and it destroys, and it's hard to back away once you let it in.
So I struggle. Because I can't just remove everyone that I should. It's not that easy.
For now, though, I need to move past that, allow that situation to do its thing, to let it grow or move or change as it will. I cannot control it, so I will not focus my energy on it.
What I will focus my energy on is the life in front of me. So much is happening in the near future, and it's all good things!
Bam will turn 5 in a few short weeks.
Gray will turn 1 just a week or so later.
And my business. It's time! Very shortly, we will be launching.
I'm stepping outside my comfort zone and making magic happen. This is huge for me. I like to stay where I'm comfortable, where I know what is expected of me and where I know I can meet all of those expectations, where there is little failure. But with no risk, there is no chance for greatness. So I'm stepping out, cautiously, nervously, scared...but I'm going.
I'm doing it!
I have big plans for this space, too. It will become more than just a place for my random thoughts. For now, though, as I deal with these personal hurdles, it will be a little of everything. Stay tuned.