Sunday, June 3, 2012

Passion

The last few years have been tumultuous, to put it mildly. So many changes, sometimes for the best, sometimes not. Lots of pain. Lots of happiness. It's been a rollercoaster ride for our entire family.

As we settle down, far removed from the chaos, it has really dawned on me that we need to prioritize our lives. I've realized that while I was spending time with my kids, it wasn't always quality, and my parenting is not something I want to put on the back burner.

So something had to go.

Somethings had to go.

And it's okay. It hurt at first. Letting go isn't always easy. But knowing that I was making these decisions for my family made it a little less painful.

And then one day...I finally felt like I could breathe again. Oh what a feeling!

I've also realized that now that we've gotten rid of some of the baggage and some of the things that weren't high on our priority list, I've had some time to really think about what I want out of my life.

What I'm really passionate about.

First and foremost, my family. Working on my relationship with my husband. Working on my relationships with my children. Being there for them, providing a safe and happy home for them, taking care of their health, fostering their creativity and their own passions. That makes me so happy!

But as rewarding as being a mother and a wife is, there's more to me than just that.

And not that that is a small thing. It's huge. It is the biggest challenge and the biggest blessing in my life.

But there's still more.

Deep in my soul, deep in my heart, I'm passionate about so many things.

I want to give, I want to help, I want to guide. I want to make a positive change in somebody's life.

As a coach, I tried. I was blessed with a coach when I was in high school who became my mentor and who I looked up to, who helped me figure out my life when it was a mess, who believed in me when I didn't believe in myself. I tried to pass that on while I was coaching. It wasn't as easy as I had thought.

But it's not something I will stop trying to do. Whether I'm coaching or not.

I'm still chugging away at my college degree. It has been a slow process, with multiple degree changes, and I'm still not quite finished. At the root of all my decisions, though, has been this need to help make a difference.

I will get there one day. I have a big picture of what I want to do to help. There is just so much need out there!

In the meantime, I will make small changes and small differences in my day to day life. Every Sunday I will talk about them, and hopefully inspire others to make a difference, too.

Reaching deep down inside myself and recognizing what I'm passionate about has been so freeing and so exhilarating. I see all the possibilities before me, and that's something I hadn't really seen before.

One day at a time, one idea at a time, and I will follow my passion and I will make a difference.

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