Awesome

I watch them sit together on the floor of our living room.

One, two, three.

Giggling, playing, being together.

That's what I had envisioned.

Right there in that moment.

This was it.

This was the family life I had dreamed of.

Sitting on the couch, cuddling with my husband, the dog curled up at my feet, watching our three children play together.

Wow.

This is real.

Every part of this is happening, right now, right here.

And there are moments of excruciating frustration that I'm not enough, I'm not doing enough, I'm not being enough.

And then there are moments like this, where I know it doesn't matter.

I'm raising three pretty awesome people.

Even when I burn dinner, or I forget to wash the favorite pair of jean leggings, or I didn't make the kid read before she went to bed so we had to wake up at the crack of dawn to get the reading done so she didn't lose a chance to get her ticket pulled...whatever that means...

They are three pretty awesome people, and this is a pretty awesome life.

Embracing rather than worrying and regretting.

Linking up with Just Write

Ahh Fall

Ah ha!

What is that I feel outside?

Is it...no...it couldn't be...

It's not hot! Is it actually...*gasp*...kind of chilly?

YES!

It sure is! Helloooo, fall!

Man, we live in the north for a reason. I don't like heat!

We lived in Texas for a year a few years back, and the heat was just insane. 40+ days of 100+ degree weather? No, thanks.

But here, in the north, in the midwest, we have this wonderful little season called fall.

Or autumn.

Or, honestly, heaven!

It's chilly. The air is crisp. The leaves are changing colors. The sky is bright and blue.

Yes, indeed, this is my favorite time of year!

Cider mills and hayrides. Raking leaves and jumping in the piles. Jeans and hoodies.

LOVE.

For two mornings in a row, I have been tempted to turn on my heat to warm up the house!

Instead, the kids and I pile on to the couch, under some blankets, and cuddle up until we get warm enough to start our day.

Ah yes, fall is here. The season of possibilities.

She

She knew that her life was meant for something. Something great.

Isn't that how every child should grow up? Knowing he or she is meant for something. That their existence does indeed have purpose.

For that, I suppose, she was lucky.

However, unlucky in her indecisiveness.

So she exists. Wondering how to accomplish all that her heart feels it needs to do.

There's just so much. No way to sort it out. No place to start.

And while she waits and wonders, the world carries on.

Senseless deaths. Crime. Murder. Poverty. Homelessness. Pain. Sadness.

And her heart aches. For all of it.

Something has to change.

She has to change.

Change the World: Drive Thru Blessing

There was a quote going around Facebook this week that really inspired me.

I am only one, but I am one.

I cannot do everything, but I can do something.

And I will not let what I cannot do

interfere with what I CAN do.

~Edward Everett Hale

I have these grand plans of how I intend to change the world, and sometimes they become so elaborate and complicated that I'm not sure I even know where to begin. So I don't. I just sit and stay and exist, and that's not doing anything constructive to help. This quote ignited the fire within me to find that focus I needed.

So how can I change the world? Maybe not the entire world, maybe just a group of people. Maybe just a city, or a neighborhood, or a street. Maybe just one person's day.

Several weeks a go, we did a quick afternoon trip through the local Sonic. "Happy Hour" seriously makes me happy! Half off drinks? Happy kids? Yeah, sure, sign me up for that!

I think we've all either heard the story, or maybe even experienced it, about a person in a drive-thru line paying for the people behind them. A little "Pay it Forward" thing going on. Recently I heard it referred to as a "Drive Thru Blessing" - awesome! I've always wanted to do it, but never really brave enough to try.

I know that sounds silly. "Brave enough." But it's true. At Sonic, they display your total bill on a small screen directly outside the window, and you can swipe your own credit card through. Once your bill is paid, it will show the person behind you in line's total. 

So that particular day, I paid our bill, and saw $2.24 pop on the screen for the person behind us. I decided that today was the day, I was going to pay somebody else's bill. What's an extra $2.24?

I'll admit, some days, an extra $2.24 is the gas we need to get from point A to point B, or how we finish getting dinner on the table. Some days it's not extra. But this particular day, I had a little extra, and I wanted to do something nice.

As I waited for the person inside to open the window so I could tell them my plan, another worker came out the door and went to the car behind me and took their payment directly, and gave them their drinks, and off they went.

I was discouraged. I had finally decided to do this and off they went! I was scared that the next person's bill might be $20, something I definitely didn't have at the time.

I held my breath as the screen changed to the next person in line.

$4.89.

Perfect! The woman inside opened the window to hand me our drinks, and I told her my plan. I slipped my card through the card reader again. She said she'd never had anybody do that before, just that she's heard about it, and she thought it was amazing! She was excited to tell the next person in line that their order was paid for. We had a wonderful exchange, smiled at each other, and off we went.

I hope that the person behind me was able to pass on this one small deed to somebody else in their life.

I hope that the woman working the drive thru window was inspired to do one small deed to somebody else in their life.

I hope the cycle continued.

It was one small deed. I certainly didn't get any recognition for it. But it wasn't needed. We can do small acts for the pure purpose of making somebody's day. Changing their world in a positive way, even if just for that one moment.

Happy Sunday! Have you done anything this week that has changed the world in a positive way? Something big? Something small? Please share! Not for recognition, but to inspire others to do the same. Imagine what the world would be like if we all took the time to do one small act for another person. Amazing!

I'm Funny

"Hey, Bam, keep your eyes peeled for Mimi!"

*hysterical laughter*

"Mama, my eyes are not bananas!"

*more hysterical laughter*

"Mama, you are the funniest mama ever!"

Heck yeah I am. I should get a trophy or a plaque or an embroidered pillow or something!

The Song in the Car

We chatted about how great it is that some of her best friends from last year are going to be in her class this year. A boy she thinks is cute, one she might marry, and two of her very best girlfriends, one who lives very close to us, and the other who teaches her words in Japanese. Her excitement for the school year to start is electric.

We sat in the parked car, I turned off the engine but the radio still played. She asked if she could unbuckle. It amazes me that she is capable of doing that herself. I said sure, and she unbuckled and propped her elbows between the front seats.

"Turn the radio up, Mom!" she squealed as one of her favorite songs came on the radio. I obliged, of course.

We sang together, me and her, as loud as we could. She let me be in the moment with her, something that I've noticed she's been stepping away from lately. She didn't ask me to stop, she just leaned on my shoulder, pressed her cheek to mine, and sang with me. We danced, her blonde wavy hair bouncing to the beat of the music. I secretly prayed for the song to be longer.

I didn't want this moment to end.

But it did. And it was okay. She kissed me on the cheek and said, "I love you, Mom." I knew that she felt the same way as I did in that exact moment.

She's becoming this incredible little person. She's not a baby anymore. She's a kid. And I'm not exactly sure when that happened, nor am I sure how I feel about it. Each age and stage has been more exciting than the last, but I don't want to rush it, I want to live it with her. While she still allows me to do so.